Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a psychotherapy model that uses attachment theory to help couples resolve their relationship issues. It is also known as emotionally focused couple therapy (EFCT). The approach was developed by Sue Johnson, a Canadian psychologist, and researcher who has dedicated her career to this method of working with couples. Her book, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations For A Lifetime Of Love, served as the basis for the development of this therapeutic tool. According to Johnson herself, EFT has been used successfully in over 40 countries since it was first introduced in 1994.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a form of couple therapy that is based on attachment theory.
Attachment theory is a psychological model that attempts to explain how people form emotional bonds and can be used to predict the quality of future relationships. It was developed by British psychologist John Bowlby in 1958, but he spent decades studying children separated from their parents during World War II firsthand. Attachment theory states that all humans are born with an innate need for close personal relationships (i.e., attachments). These early attachments begin forming as soon as we’re born, but it’s not until about age seven or eight that we develop our most lasting attachments, including those with our romantic partners later in life.
How do I make him/her understand what hurts me so much?
EFT focuses on the emotional connection between partners rather than on their interactions or behaviors during conflict resolution sessions—and these two things must go hand-in-hand for effective treatment! Like me, you might think: “If only I could stop arguing so much with my partner when we fight!” Or maybe: “Why does my spouse ignore me when I ask them something?” Or even: “How do I make him/her understand what hurts me so much?” But have you ever asked yourself why this argument feels so important? Why do they ignore me? Why do they keep hurting me even though they say they love me?
Who benefits from EFT?
It is a therapy that has been used with many different types of clients, including:
- Couples and families
- Individuals
- Children
How does EFT work?
EFT is a three-stage process, which helps you to identify and address the issues that are causing your relationship problems.
Stage 1: Relationship Repair
During the first stage of EFT, you learn how to repair your relationship with yourself and your partner. It includes identifying ways in which you might be contributing to or enabling the problem in your relationship. It also involves understanding what brings rewards for both partners and how each individual can change their behavior so that it better meets the needs of both parties. In this way, it’s possible to create an environment where both partners feel valued, respected, and loved.
Stage 2: Relationship Renewal
During Stage Two of EFT, couples focus on strengthening their bond by examining their past experiences together as well as their present state of mind regarding each other. They learn how to detect problems earlier than before so that they don’t escalate into bigger issues later on down the road (which could cause irreparable damage). Couples work with each other during this stage by establishing new ground rules for communication styles – including effective listening skills – which helps them avoid future arguments or disagreements about topics like money management or parenting styles with children who live at home full-time instead just part-time during weekends only when there’s no school involved anymore.”
Stage 3: Relationship Transformation
The main objective of Stage Three is to help couples reach the point where they can experience true love for one another (without relying on external circumstances like gifts, compliments, or social status). It takes time and effort to achieve this state of mind but it’s well worth it because when couples get here, they know that no matter what happens in life, their bond will never be broken.
What are some of the key concepts in EFT?
Key concepts in EFT include:
- The importance of attachment.
Attachment is a bond between two people where one person looks to the other for safety and security. When a child develops secure attachment, they feel safe enough to explore the world around them without fear of abandonment or harm. It can lead to healthy relationships later in life, which help us feel secure, happy, and loved.
- The importance of repair.
After an argument or conflict with another person, there is often an urge for one person or both people involved in the situation to sweep it under the rug as quickly as possible so that it doesn’t become an issue again later on down the road when things start getting better between them (or worse). Unfortunately, this doesn’t heal anything; instead what needs to happen is that both parties should sit down with each other after an argument has ended and openly talk about what happened so that each party understands where their partner stands on things before moving forward into happier times together once again.
EFT focuses on the emotional connection between partners rather than on their interactions or behaviors during conflict resolution sessions
What are some of the goals of emotionally focused
couple therapy (EFCT)?
EFT is a goal-oriented approach to couples therapy that can help you address the following:
- Increase positive feelings and decrease negative ones
- Improve communication skills
- Enhance problem-solving skills, conflict-resolution skills, and intimacy
- Improve parenting skills and self-esteem of the whole family
- Improve relationship satisfaction
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is a psychotherapy that helps you better understand your emotions and how to manage them in healthy ways. This approach aims to help couples communicate more effectively with each other about their feelings by focusing on what’s going on in the moment rather than dwelling on past conflicts or worries about future events. It can be beneficial for people who want to learn more about themselves and improve their relationships with others.
