Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) also known as attachment-based couples therapy – was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg in the 1980s. It is one of the most effective forms of couples therapy available today and can be applied to work with other relationships besides those between couples.
EFT is one of the most effective forms of couples therapy
Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) is one of the most effective forms of couples therapy. The approach has also been applied to work with other types of relationships, including families and close friendships.
Research has demonstrated that EFT can help improve how couples feel about each other, as well as how they interact and relate to each other. This can mean more trust, love, and intimacy between partners in a relationship — or even a happier family life for parents who are raising children together.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Emotionally Focused Therapy is a form of couples and relationship therapy that aims to help partners improve their relationship by working on their emotional connection. The goal of EFT is to help couples reestablish a healthy emotional connection, which will then lead to better communication and stronger feelings of mutual respect.
EFT can help improve how couples feel about each other
What makes EFT different from other forms of couples or relationship therapy? One thing that sets it apart from other types of counseling is its focus on attachment theory: the idea that our early experiences with caregivers (usually parents) influence how we act toward others throughout our lives by creating either secure or insecure relationships with them later on down the line. According to attachment theory, children whose caregivers were responsive when they needed comfort formed secure attachments; those whose caregivers did not meet their needs were left feeling insecure about whether someone else would be there for them when they needed support later on down the line—and this affects how they form bonds with new people throughout life as well as how they tackle challenges together within romantic relationships now!
Who does EFT work for?
EFT is a great option for couples who are seeking help with their relationship. Couples of all ages, from young to old, can benefit from this therapy. EFT is also a good fit for couples that have been together for a long time or recently.
This can be an exciting time for couples, but it can also be a stressful one. You may have started to notice some issues in your relationship that you’re not sure how to handle. Sometimes, even when we know what we want, we don’t know how to get there. This is where EFT can help!
EFT helps couples and families understand their emotions in a more secure way
EFT therapy is a process by which the couples therapist or family therapist helps both members of a couple understand and process their emotions more securely than they have done up until this point. The therapist will help them to understand how emotions are created, how they are expressed, how they are managed, and most importantly—if there is an issue with controlling these emotions.
The goal of EMDR therapy is to help the couple or family learn how to communicate more effectively to resolve conflicts, manage stress, and reduce the number of negative emotions they experience while doing so. EMDR therapy can be used in conjunction with other forms of therapy such as marriage counseling or family counseling.
How does EFT differ from other therapies for couples?
While EFT is a form of therapy for couples, families, and individuals, it differs from other therapies in that it focuses on emotions as being the most important factor in relationships. This means that instead of looking at how personality traits affect your relationship, EFT looks at how each person’s emotions affect their partner.
EFT helps you to understand your own emotions and those of others so that you can change negative patterns for the better.
EFT is a form of therapy that uses tapping as a way to release negative emotions and beliefs. The basic premise behind EFT is that when you have an unresolved emotion, it can cause problems in your life. For example, if you feel angry about something, but don’t know how to express that anger without hurting others or yourself, then this can lead to depression and anxiety.
The fundamental point of difference between EFT and other forms of couples or relationship therapy
The fundamental point of difference between EFT and other forms of couples or relationship therapy is the central focus on each member’s emotional responses and how they relate to the other person. It is a process that helps couples understand and process their emotions, particularly those related to how they are feeling about one another.
It does this by focusing on four key principles:
- The connection between two people (and what keeps them together)
- How each partner feels about themselves and their role in the relationship
- What each partner’s needs are within the relationship
- How a couple shows love for one another
By tapping on the points of your body while focusing on the emotion, you can release it and resolve any issues that it may have caused. The use of EFT is quite simple. You will need to find a quiet place where you can sit or lie down comfortably without being disturbed by anyone else. Then all you need to do is follow the instructions given below. EFT also encourages couples to be honest about their feelings and needs and helps them work through the challenges in their relationship. It is a process that helps couples understand and process their emotions, particularly those related to how they are feeling about one another.
What are the techniques used in EFT?
The techniques of EFT include
Identification. Identifying the emotion you are feeling and naming it in a way that feels right to you, such as “I’m feeling angry because…” or “I feel sad because…”
Restructuring. Identifying what you believe about yourself now, how your past experiences have affected your present life, and ways to restructure these beliefs so that they are more empowering for you in the future. For example: “Even though my father told me I was stupid when I was growing up, I can restructure this belief by considering all of the things that I am good at instead. Perhaps he was only trying to help me grow stronger as a person by pointing out some things he thought could be improved upon?”
Emotional disclosure (or talking about feelings). The therapist will listen attentively while reflecting on what they hear from their client to help them explore their feelings more deeply before moving on from there to other stages of therapy such as restructuring or emotional nourishment (more on those later!).
Emotional nourishment. This stage involves feeding yourself in healthy ways so that you can continue to grow and heal from your past experiences (and recognize what is not healthy for you). For example, if someone was emotionally hungry as a child due to feeling neglected by their parents, they may choose some form of self-nurturing such as eating good food or taking care of themselves physically otherwise.
When should you seek EFT?
There are certain situations where EFT may be helpful:
- If you feel your relationship has moved into negative cycles of behavior, particularly patterns of emotional withdrawal or attack.
- If you and your partner have been unable to resolve problems.
- If you have not been able to resolve problems on your own.
- If you are having difficulties with your partner’s behavior and find it difficult to discuss your feelings. If you have tried talking about the issues, but nothing seems to work.
Explore EFT with your partner
If you feel that your relationship has moved into negative cycles of behavior, particularly patterns of emotional withdrawal or attack, then you may wish to explore EFT with your partner.
Emotional withdrawal occurs when one partner withdraws emotionally from the relationship. In some cases, this can be a temporary reaction to stress or external events; however, in more serious situations it can become an ongoing pattern of behavior that damages the relationship and prevents partners from feeling comfortable expressing themselves openly. Similarly, emotional attacks occur when one partner verbally or physically attacks the other during an argument. Again, this is usually a sign that something is wrong in their relationship and needs to be addressed quickly before it becomes a habit.
By learning how to identify these cycles and how they affect them individually and together as a couple (or family), EFT can help those involved understand their own emotions in such situations for them not only to survive but thrive as well!
Understand your emotional responses
Emotionally focused therapy can help you understand your emotional responses in a way that can dramatically strengthen your relationships.
This approach is based on the idea that our emotions play an important role in how we communicate with others and how we interpret their behavior. It’s also focused on helping couples learn new ways of interacting that are less likely to escalate conflicts or cause damage to their relationship.
What’s more, EFT has been shown to work for a wide variety of couples’ problems, including anger management issues, infidelity, communication difficulties, sexual concerns, and parenting problems.
Conclusion
Emotionally focused therapy can be an effective tool for those seeking to strengthen their relationships, but it is not for everyone. If you are in a relationship with someone who has high levels of emotional avoidance or difficulty managing their own emotions, then this approach may not work. It is also important to note that EFT does not replace other forms of therapy; rather it is meant for couples who have already worked through issues and understand how to manage their emotions within the context of their relationship. If you find yourself struggling with any aspect of your relationship – from communication problems to infidelity – consider seeking help from a couples therapist who has experience with emotionally focused therapy (EFT).
