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How to deal with a rageaholic

All about how to deal with a rageaholic

Learning how to deal with a rageaholic or intermittent explosive disorder is easy with a trained mental health professional.  Particularly with a background in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  With this mode of assistance, you can better understand the patterns that contribute to these angering episodes and learn new skills on how to respond. 

What are the signs of a rageaholic?

You may be wondering about rageaholics and intermittent explosive disorder which I’ll talk about here.  Have you seen a loved one struggle with anger?  Where it seems that they make go from zero to one hundred quickly?  The signs to look out for are, bullying, domestic violence, verbal aggression,  or physical aggression.  A rageaholic meaning can look differently across the board.  For example one person may have issues with physical aggression and another with verbal aggression. 

You yourself may be struggling with brief outbursts of anger.  What does the definition of a rageaholic mean to you?  What areas are you noticing where anger is an issue?  Are you having anger outbursts?  During an outburst you may feel restless, tension, irritable, have difficulty focusing, rage, or an increased heart rate. 

More in depth signs of a rageaholic

  • Feeling tension- Do you feel pent up frustration?  Are you reacting to issues with a high degree of pressure and volatility?
  • Erratic- Are people around you walking on eggshells because your anger can unleash at any moment?
  • Inadequacy- When a sense of inadequacy is triggered do you find yourself flying off the handle?
  • Depressed mood- Right after a rageful event, do you feel as if you’ve crashed emotionally?

Did you know that anger sets off a huge physiological response?  Biologically, your heart rate, testosterone and blood pressure can all rise.  Personally, I think this proves how well our bodies can accommodate this emotion.  And further supports the idea that anger itself is normal but we have to express it in a way that is safe enough for us and those around us.

Rageaholic vs Intermittent explosive disorder

Now that you’ve read over the signs you’re wondering what you could be dealing with.  The signs of Intermittent Explosive Disorder may appear similarly to a rageaholic.  Rageaholic may be a familiar term while Intermittent Explosive Disorder or IED is a diagnostic term.  Meaning, although friends and family may use the word, “rageaholic” your doctor or mental health professional may use the medical term or IED.

Intermittent explosive disorder becomes a diagnosis when a person’s rage starts to impact their daily functioning.  The explosions of anger start to impact their relationships, work, family or personal care.  If people around you have started to tell you that your anger is a problem this may be the case for you.  Anytime someone’s anger is acting against their long term best interest, we have to look more closely into what’s going on indistinguishable of the labels involved.

Whether the issue is being a rageaholic or a disorder, you deserve to get some help.  Understand that anger is a natural emotion but we can choose how to express it.  In these instances, it is the expression of anger that is the issue because outbursts or aggression supersedes what is traditionally expected of the everyday person to respond to an upsetting situation.

If anger is the issue then get some help!  Before property damage, physical damage or loss of relationship occurs.  Anger can also impact your health.  Those that suffer from these issues with anger can have a higher risk of heart attack or stroke.  A John Hopkins study found that men who reacted quickly with anger when stressed were five times more likely to have a heart attack even when they had no history of heart disease.

How to deal with a rageaholic?

Firstly take a deep breath in and out for what you are attempting to achieve.  Understand that, the anger issues you’re trying to overcome most likely have quite a history.  Contact a mental health professional which you can see online from the comfort of your own home, for further assistance. 

Learn how to make your needs clear without anger if you are the aggressor.  If you’re not the aggressor, dive into what you may be doing to contribute.  As you too may need to keep anger in check.

  • Your own warning signs when dealing with a rageaholic:
  • You allow others to hurt you when they are angry.
  • You have your own difficulty with healthy expressions of anger.
  • Instead of directly communicating anger you sabotage the relationship by communicating anger indirectly.
  • Your means of anger expression leave you feeling shameful, hopeless, or powerless.

As you learn how to deal with your rageaholic it may help to understand a bit about the biology of anger.  Anger is known to activate the left side of the brain which is associated with positive approach behaviors.  Meaning that anger can be seen as rewarding, particularly when the angering subject feels that what they are doing is making things better.  What does this mean to you?  Examine your relationship, look for incidences where you may be rewarding their anger, even unintentionally!

How to deal if you are a rageaholic?

Look closely at yourself and pinpoint what it is that motivates you to change.  The road to learning new behaviors can be long.  Neurologically, habits are wired differently than new skills that need to be applied.  Your anger responses could be seen as automatic as you struggle to apply what you’ve picked up to help the anger.  This means that it’s difficult but not impossible.  In the meantime, could you be rewarding your anger without knowing it?

Signs that you are a rageaholic- and benefiting from it!

  • You use the rush you get from anger as motivation or for more energy.
  • You use the anger as pain relief as you hurt when you are not angry.
  • You get irritable or explode in new situations which makes everything come to a halt.  Keeping you from having to explore uncomfortable or out of the box circumstances.
  • You are using the anger to feel more confident.
  • When you are angry and throw a temper tantrum, those around you give in which reinforces the behavior.

But what are some other ways to deal with a rageaholic that you can start doing right now?

  • Attend couples therapy- If there’s no signs of domestic abuse then work out these issues with a neutral third party.  They’ll be able to give you an outside perspective that can help the anger and the relationship.
  • Seek your own individual help- Contact a mental health professional to sort out what’s going on and give you personalized advice.
  • Recognize your triggers and decide what you are personally going to do differently.  Instead of pacing inside the house with tension and frustration, why not go to the gym?
  • Practice communicating the anger by writing it out first.  Write out what you want to say and practice saying it.  Even record yourself!  Is this the way you want to deliver these important messages?

Get online mental health services by contacting me here.

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